I should be sleeping

but I smell rain

the cicadas sing

as the metallic air

stings the night

and the humid croak

of frogs kiss the wind

As my potions red

and brown cascade along the counter

I know the coughs will go away

even with the stormy weather

I take my potions sweet and bitter.

As the water bubbles

I add oats, cinnamon, and clove

with cardamom and ginger

spicing up the brew.

It will be pouring by the dawn

I hope for rainbows.

Hollow

Wilderness Skills kicked off our first day of courses back at the Hollow today. The land smells of honey and hay and is showing the first colors of Autumn. Despite being busy all day, the breathing of the land filled my heartbeat with rhythm, grounding, and solace. It was good to be back.

The Skills posse is small this year - just the four die-hards and their devoted mentors. How I love their familiar faces and newly grown vertical inches. How I love their glowy eyes and sighs of "finally" when they return. How they bring the stories of the land to life.

I long sometimes to go back and ride a day in their boots. And vicariously I suppose I do. As they pressure flake, swamp-walk, groundhog skin, cattail eat... I feel if nothing else at least the next generation will be able to make a fire and feed me if necessary:). Even if only theoretical - it serves a profound need of mine to see a few children into adulthood with some valid Earthskills.

Despite not hiking the trails today, the land seemed to come to me. The wild grapes line the rock walls, the chipmunks chirp outside my office door. The amaranth punctuate the meadows, and the wild cucumber; unruly with spines.

Irreverent choice?

Sometimes staying authentic means pissing people off, disappointing them, or involuntarily shattering their images of you. It's not done maliciously. It's not done with spite. However it is haunting if you've attached your own self worth to their approval. But life is not an unspoken barter of worth. In the end, what matters is how you feel about your choices - are they bringing you closer to your truth, or closer to others' agendas? Are you actually breaking an agreement you made - or simply breaking someones made up expectations?

And yet it is so often that on the other side, if we as humble humans are open enough, we can realize a place that contains the richness of composted illusions and fears. We can come to a place of compassionate support and mutual honesty. We can come to a place where we find the breakdown is a gifting of deeper strength. We can discern the beautiful edges that may have lined the old structures well, and take them with us for new trim.